Some years ago I worked as an editor at a start-up social polling site that attempted to use opinion polls as a vehicle for discussion, interaction, and entertainment. A typical poll on this site would be something like:
Which of these Wes Anderson movies is his best?
A) Bottle Rocket
B) Rushmore
C) The Royal Tenenbaums
D) The Life Aquatic
E) The Darjeeling Limited
You know, straight opinion with potential for lively debate. Very simple. You'd think.
Which of these Wes Anderson movies is his best?
A) Bottle Rocket
B) Rushmore
C) The Royal Tenenbaums
D) The Life Aquatic
E) The Darjeeling Limited
You know, straight opinion with potential for lively debate. Very simple. You'd think.
The initial concept was that users would submit polls, which we would edit and curate. To get the ball rolling, the editors were asked to create polls to seed the site, which would draw users who would then start submitting polls, while us editors sat back and accepted the good ones and rejected the bad ones, and our only problem would be the deluge of user submissions and the deluge of money our start-up would soon be making because it's the most fun thing in the world.
In practice, however, users rarely submitted polls, suggesting a slight miscalculation about the level of ambition of our audience. We had plenty of users who wanted to participate in and discuss the polls, but they were for the most part perfectly happy enjoying the polls we made, rather than coming up with their own.
But there were occasional submissions. And these highlighted another slight miscalculation in our vision for this site: the quality of the user's ideas. As editors, our job in the simplest terms is to make the source material even better, to take something good and make it great. But sometimes the source material is written by good-intentioned folks who have vastly misunderstood the general concept of the site. And that is the nicest possible way to explain these, some of my favorite rejected submissions.
Sometimes you're grateful for a "none of the above" choice:
if you had a chance to change your name what would it be?
A) GOOGOO
B) SLither
C) teel
D) none of the above
Many are simply not a matter of opinion:
Doris Day is
A) A National Treasure
B) Best Known for Animal Rights
C) Alive and well in Carmel, CA
D) A great singer and actress
E) Worthy of an Oscar
About how many library books are in the Willow Canyon Library?
A) 7000
B) 15000
C) 21000
D) 27000
What rare event occurred in Cleveland on June 23, 1882?
A) A tidal wave
B) A downtown tornado
C) An earthquake
D) A snowstorm
Some are just too controversial:
Fart in a mitten?
A) Cozy
B) Not cozy
I often look up at the sky at night
A) True
B) False
Which sentence is more politically correct?
A) Man allegedly robs bank
B) Gentleman allegedly robs bank
If someone asked you what you were reading, you would:
A) Tell them what you're reading
B) Lie and name a book title
C) Tell them you're not
D) Tell them you can't read
Are you going to dress up like a scary person for halloween
A) YOU BET!
B) Yeah
C) Mabey
D) Nope
E) NO CREEP!
Some include unnecessary clarifiers:
Are YOU, Prejudiced??
A) NO
B) YES
C) Depends, NOT THE Diaper!!!!!!!
Some were simultaneously too broad in scope and too narrow in execution (particularly considering the site allowed for five choices):
if you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?
A) italy
B) japan
What's your favorite time to eat?
A) Monday
B) Tuesday
C) Wednesday
D) Saturday
Craziest Year in your life
A) 2002
B) 2003
C) 2004
D) 2008
How many students do you think slept more than 7 hours last night
A) 2
B) 3
C) 4
D) 5
what is your favorite animal
A) cat, dog, wolf, or, fox
B) seal, dolphin, turtle or shark
C) eagle, crow, sparrow or hawk
D) mouse, ferret, bunny or rat
E) mokey, human, tiger or other
Often, you could tell which way the submitter was leaning:
Do you feel that our children suffer from our selfish ways ?
A) very much so
B) we get caught up in ourselves
Is James Leo Thornton Jr. Gay?
A) Yes
B) Of course
Many were not the product of a sane person:
what does the train say wen it goes up the hill?
A) this is too hard, i give up!
B) fuck this, im outter here
C) i think i can, i think i can..
D) nothin
E) all of the above
What is your favorite smell?
A) Red
B) Yao Ming
C) Air Force Ones
D) Description
How would you react if you fell off a cliff without knowing about it?
A) Cry
B) Mad
C) Ok, ish
D) happy
E) Didn't Care
Have you ever had a dog that died becuase it saw a bigger dog?
A) Yes, it was for the best
B) Yes, it was horrbile
C) Possibly, I cannot remember
D) No, but I wish it would have
E) No, I am glad it did not
Vote NONE of the above/If wins DO OVER next Qtr (No repeat candidates)
A) Yes, Yes, Yes
B) No not exactly but interesting
And one was my favorite, for no reason in particular:
what goes in meatloaf?
A) meat
B) loaf
C) spices
In practice, however, users rarely submitted polls, suggesting a slight miscalculation about the level of ambition of our audience. We had plenty of users who wanted to participate in and discuss the polls, but they were for the most part perfectly happy enjoying the polls we made, rather than coming up with their own.
But there were occasional submissions. And these highlighted another slight miscalculation in our vision for this site: the quality of the user's ideas. As editors, our job in the simplest terms is to make the source material even better, to take something good and make it great. But sometimes the source material is written by good-intentioned folks who have vastly misunderstood the general concept of the site. And that is the nicest possible way to explain these, some of my favorite rejected submissions.
Sometimes you're grateful for a "none of the above" choice:
if you had a chance to change your name what would it be?
A) GOOGOO
B) SLither
C) teel
D) none of the above
Many are simply not a matter of opinion:
Doris Day is
A) A National Treasure
B) Best Known for Animal Rights
C) Alive and well in Carmel, CA
D) A great singer and actress
E) Worthy of an Oscar
About how many library books are in the Willow Canyon Library?
A) 7000
B) 15000
C) 21000
D) 27000
What rare event occurred in Cleveland on June 23, 1882?
A) A tidal wave
B) A downtown tornado
C) An earthquake
D) A snowstorm
Some are just too controversial:
Fart in a mitten?
A) Cozy
B) Not cozy
I often look up at the sky at night
A) True
B) False
Which sentence is more politically correct?
A) Man allegedly robs bank
B) Gentleman allegedly robs bank
If someone asked you what you were reading, you would:
A) Tell them what you're reading
B) Lie and name a book title
C) Tell them you're not
D) Tell them you can't read
Are you going to dress up like a scary person for halloween
A) YOU BET!
B) Yeah
C) Mabey
D) Nope
E) NO CREEP!
Some include unnecessary clarifiers:
Are YOU, Prejudiced??
A) NO
B) YES
C) Depends, NOT THE Diaper!!!!!!!
Some were simultaneously too broad in scope and too narrow in execution (particularly considering the site allowed for five choices):
if you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?
A) italy
B) japan
What's your favorite time to eat?
A) Monday
B) Tuesday
C) Wednesday
D) Saturday
Craziest Year in your life
A) 2002
B) 2003
C) 2004
D) 2008
How many students do you think slept more than 7 hours last night
A) 2
B) 3
C) 4
D) 5
what is your favorite animal
A) cat, dog, wolf, or, fox
B) seal, dolphin, turtle or shark
C) eagle, crow, sparrow or hawk
D) mouse, ferret, bunny or rat
E) mokey, human, tiger or other
Often, you could tell which way the submitter was leaning:
Do you feel that our children suffer from our selfish ways ?
A) very much so
B) we get caught up in ourselves
Is James Leo Thornton Jr. Gay?
A) Yes
B) Of course
Many were not the product of a sane person:
what does the train say wen it goes up the hill?
A) this is too hard, i give up!
B) fuck this, im outter here
C) i think i can, i think i can..
D) nothin
E) all of the above
What is your favorite smell?
A) Red
B) Yao Ming
C) Air Force Ones
D) Description
How would you react if you fell off a cliff without knowing about it?
A) Cry
B) Mad
C) Ok, ish
D) happy
E) Didn't Care
Have you ever had a dog that died becuase it saw a bigger dog?
A) Yes, it was for the best
B) Yes, it was horrbile
C) Possibly, I cannot remember
D) No, but I wish it would have
E) No, I am glad it did not
Vote NONE of the above/If wins DO OVER next Qtr (No repeat candidates)
A) Yes, Yes, Yes
B) No not exactly but interesting
And one was my favorite, for no reason in particular:
what goes in meatloaf?
A) meat
B) loaf
C) spices
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