Christmas is featured in a disproportionate number of the childhood memories I've managed to retain. These days, the early arrival of the holiday season is a popular topic for hilarious jokes and pointless complaints, but in my memory Christmastime was about three-quarters of the year in the 1980s. That can't be right, but I get why it seems that way. The holiday classic A Christmas Story opens with the narrator explaining that the entire kid year revolves around that time in December. Mostly because of presents. But as you grow, the holidays become about something more, and that something is booze. Well, booze combined with all the other magical traditions of the season, of course. Specifically, in my thirties, Christmas is all about the tree, the decorations, the music, the perfect gift for my partner, the food, and -- more than ever -- the movies.
At Cracked, I use my month of experience looking for work to help out all the other job hunters. I guarantee you will stand out with a cover letter like this.
Click here to read it, and tell your friend(s)!
Food Network's Chopped is the show where four chefs compete to create a three-course meal under extreme duress. A very short time limit for each round is only the beginning. Each course comes with a basket of mandatory secret ingredients that are often exotic, gross, or exotic and gross. And it's a competition, so each round a chef is eliminated. Four compete for best appetizer. Three compete for best entree. And dessert is a head-to-head fight to the finish. Harrowing.
I guess you can probably tell that I'm nuts about Chopped! I've watched the show so much that I think I'd even be a pretty good contestant. In fact, I'll prove how good I'd be by explaining what I would have done for each round if I was on the very first episode of the show.
Operating a vehicle is often useful, fun, or necessary, depending on the vehicle and the reason you’re operating it. But vehicular usefulness or enjoyment may be affected negatively if certain foundational elements of the experience are not properly considered, leading to results ranging from a somewhat tempered level of fun to unpredictable horror. What follows is an all-purpose guide to operating vehicles. The operator must fill in some details depending on which type of vehicle is in need of operation, but this guide attempts to anticipate most questions for mechanically operated vehicles in modern civilization (and some non-mechanical vehicles), including all classes of automobile, motorcycles, submarines, airplanes of any type, spacecraft, heavy machinery, boats, most varieties of domestic equine, hovercraft, jet skis, and things we can’t think of right now or that haven’t even been invented yet.
I don't normally post or share these things, but I wrote this one, so I strongly believe in its premise.
Some years ago I worked as an editor at a start-up social polling site that attempted to use opinion polls as a vehicle for discussion, interaction, and entertainment. A typical poll on this site would be something like:
Which of these Wes Anderson movies is his best?
A) Bottle Rocket
C) The Royal Tenenbaums
D) The Life Aquatic
E) The Darjeeling Limited
You know, straight opinion with potential for lively debate. Very simple. You'd think.
This is almost certainly my final attempt in a long string of website destinations, probably. I swear, this time I found what I was looking for. The last half-dozen or so were super great, but I really do have a good feeling about this one.
INT. JEFFERSONIAN - RESEARCH LAB - DAY
A bunch of squints do lab work around the place, all clinical and nerdy and whatnot. It’s pretty cool, even though we have a vague sense that it knows it’s cool.
A new character — CHARLEY, male, barely 31 and a half, deliberate short-cropped dark brown hair — enters in a lab coat. He’s not one of them, but he lied on his resume.
Angela looks up from a microscope at one of the lab tables, even though she’s supposed to just be an artist.
You must be the new intern?
Yes. I’m the guy who plays for keeps.
The Internet is an endless, complex organism, teeming with every sort of thing. With the exception of a clear-cut answer to your seemingly basic questions, the Internet has anything you can imagine. That’s why written volumes on the subject would still barely scratch the surface. You could fill your hard drive with text files and still not really know which side the surface is. I say “you" could, and that is what I really mean — YOU. Definitely not me, because I can barely find the time to write this thing here.
Charley Daniels is a writer, editor, producer, and crypto-meteorologist.
This work by Charley Daniels is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.