In general, the field of eye medicine feels like it originates from someone with a great sense of humor who was forced by overbearing parents to become a doctor. Some examples? Fine.

Contact lenses are dime-sized pieces of clear plastic (one atom thick, easily dislodged) that are given to people specifically because they have vision problems. Think about that.

I like to imagine the other article headlines are just a few of the seven things that successful people never say. "Climate change will mean way less sushi."